


Chosen for a Purpose

by Silmea



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-03-10 17:22:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13506258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silmea/pseuds/Silmea
Summary: Rey stays behind to give the Resistance the time it needs to escape when Kylo Ren's fleet finds them, knowing he wants to capture her after the happenings at Crait. Post TLJ fic





	1. Chapter 1

Panic, utter frantic panic was all Rey felt from the people around her, running left and right, carrying weapons, explosives, and palettes of nutrients. She approached Leia yelling out commands to get the last of their cargo aboard the few ships they had managed to salvage during the fragile rebuilt of the Resistance. They had been discovered. Again. Had to run away. Again. And Rey knew exactly why they had been such easy targets to find.

Because of her.

“Go, go, go!” The elder woman shouted, inspiring that little extra push of energy of the exhausted rebels that were rushing aboard the shuttles. Rey stopped before the General, as she helped remaining civilians and rebels onto the ships. 

“I’m staying.” Leia whipped her head to Rey, cocking one thin eyebrow on her forehead, shaking her head.

“No.” The General’s tone left no room for argument and her eyes were frantically watching the skies for the Order’s Star Destroyers to appear on the blue horizon when the last people had gotten onboard and the ships around them started to take off from the ground.

“I have to stay, you know I am right.” Rey argued softly, seeing that sad twinkle spark in Leia’s eyes, knowing what the girl was implying. The Bond. But the elder woman had the stubborn need not wanting to leave her behind. She cherished Rey dearly as her own daughter after the time they had spent together, and it would be too painful to bear to leave her at the mercy of the Order. At the mercy of her son, but she knew the Bond meant something beyond what she could grasp.

“Rey…too many have died. Losing you would extinguish all remaining hope.” Leia countered, but already knowing she was fighting a losing battle. Rey had already decided what she was going to do.   
  
“It’s me he wants. He won’t kill me. I know it. I _feel_  it. This is the path I must take, for you to survive.”  
  
“At what cost?”  
  
“He won’t kill me.”  
  
“There are worse fates then death in the galaxy, Rey.” Leia stated.

After the happenings at Crait, the new Supreme leader had turned almost as ruthless as Palpatine. He had become cold and calculating and not wasting one second to find them. But Rey knew he was hurting. He had shut himself off from anything that made him feel, because with everything that had happened between them had wounded him too much. Too deep.

The brunette shook her head, her voice pleading. “More people will die if I don’t.” She let out a soft sigh, “I have to do this.”

Rey felt the Bond coming to life and how much more profound it had grown ever since the battle they had on Snoke’s ship. The Jedi had been too upset to forgive him for what he had done in his rage. She had been angry at many things, because if he had just listened, if he had just trusted her, everything would have been so different. And it had shattered her heart.

How she wished she could turn back time, wishing she had reached out to him before it came to this.

Ben had done the same, he built strong defenses around his heart, not wanting her to see more of the broken man on the inside, refusing to show what he considered a weakness just because she had turned him away, and left him.

But the Bond did not heed their wishes. Instead it seemed the more distressed they were, the more it forced them together, to sense each other, growing with each encounter, and she could feel his emotions clearly as her own, knowing he did the same with hers. Sometimes she wondered where his ended and hers began.

Eventually, it had evolved so strongly, he had found a way to find out where she was, where the Resistance was hiding. And she knew she could not run away anymore.

“Rey.” Leia said softly, “I cannot let you do that.”

“You have to trust me. If I do this, he will stop. You have a chance to get away and he won’t be able to find you anymore. Please.”

Leia let out a defeated sigh, and then both turned their heads upwards at the cracking noise reverberated above them.

_Swooosh…_

It shook through them both as they heard the thundering, vibrating screech above them, seeing the Order’s ships jump out of hyperspace. Time was running out.

“Tell Finn, Poe…and Chewie,” Rey started, feeling tears threatening to break free…

“General, we have to leave!” The pilot in charge of the shuttle had run out to the hangar deck where they stood, “they are here!”

Leia swatted her hand to the man, irritation heavy in her voice. “You don’t think I know that.” She dismissed him, as she turned her eyes to Rey, seeing the young girl was not going to change her mind, and they had to go, otherwise the remains of the fleet would be in danger.

“Go…” Rey said with finality in her voice.

Leia looked torn, but she nodded, pressing her lips together, and hugged her for all she had. Rey let out a tiny gasp at the motherly affection and returned the warmth embrace with equal fervor.

She gave Rey’s a final squeeze before she backed away in the ship.

“Tell Major Tanto to punch it.”  
  
The pilot nodded and hurried off. Leia give her a final wave as the doors closed, and Rey backed away to not be incinerated by the engines and watched as the ship left the skies and stood alone on the desert plaza. The sand whirled around her, managing to get in her eyes and nose. The harsh sunlight heated her skin as she nervously awaited her fate. She had been right though. The ships from the Order did not leave the atmosphere as the last rebel transport had taken off, neither had they fired on their base, and she felt him, knowing he sensed her too.

She saw a single shuttle appearing with two TIE fighters accompanying to the base, and it made the warrior within her stand firm and alert, but the woman inside felt her heart twist, knowing she had to see him again in the flesh.

As a last rebellious act of her own, she felt the wave of thrilling adrenaline rush through her, and her feet started to sprint in the opposite direction of the shuttle into the woods behind the base.

She had to give the rebels more time. She had nothing to run to, but it would buy the Resistance just the minutes they needed. She could imagine how upset both Poe and Finn would be to her decision, and truly hoped Chewie would not decide to go after her either, being alone in the  _Falcon_.

_Don't look back! Run!_

She panted heavily, her heart threatened to burst through her chest, as she tried navigating the rough landscape. She heard blasters being fired, swooshing by her, hitting nearby rocks and trees as she kept sprinting, the twigs snapping under her feet.

_Keep running!_

She tried her utmost to block him from her thoughts as she felt his presence grow much more intense and could not fight the goosebumps that prickled her skin. But trying to fight him made her temporarily lose sight of her surroundings and she had not noticed she had been running straight towards a cliff in the open area leading out of the woods.

And in that split second, she let her guard down, and it was all he needed. She felt his powers tug at her, immobilizing her frame like it had on Takodana. She wondered hastily if he had feared she would fall down the edge, because she realized she would have if he had not stopped her.

 _"Nowhere to run.”_ His voice sent shivers down her spine when he whispered in her mind, the first time he had spoken to her since Crait. He sounded so cold, so hollow and Rey withheld the urge to whimper in how different he sounded. She could fight his hold on her, but what would be the point? This is what she wanted. She had to get captured. 

She heard footsteps running towards her, knowing the troopers were surrounding her frozen frame in a half circle. It was either the cliff or the troopers. She hated feeling powerless, a lingering sentiment that had been with her since childhood, and just as the troopers pointed their guns at her, she tried on impulse to break free from her prison.

Just as she tried, she heard  _that_  voice. “Don't even try it.” She closed her eyes, feeling him behind her. Again, she felt the pull from the Bond, and he released her from her bindings. Perhaps he sensed her panic of being trapped in that manner. Why would he still care?

She turned around and tried to not to stumble as she saw him again. Not just a ghost of the Bond. It did something to her, that she did not wish to delve further on, and she sensed he was experiencing the same struggle.

He had shadowy bags under his eyes, his skin looked almost ashen, and she could see so clearly the battle for his soul in those haunting eyes. Dressed in a different black attire, he looked regal. The black cape followed the wind, the chrome metal plates adorning his chest was shimmering in the sunlight. And still she could not stop how her heart reacted to see him.

He was silent, the guards were silent. The type of silence that even the wind and rustling of leaves quietened around them to a deathly chill, and the only thing she heard was the furious thumping against her ribcage.

Kylo Ren took one step towards her, and he loomed over her smaller figure. Rey averted his penetrating stare, as he took another step to stand so close to her, feeling his scent tickle her nose. His gloved hand gripped her chin and forced her to look at him.

“We meet again.”  
  
Anchoring her gaze to his brown depths, she found herself searching for hope, for that belonging she had felt with him on Ahch-To.

He leaned even closer, his nose almost brushing hers. “You and I have unfinished business.”  
  
”You monster.” She whispered trying to see if she could provoke something from him by referring him to the thing he had admitted to being. That she knew he wasn’t. She could still feel the conflict, buried deep under layers of solid walls to protect him when she peered inside him. And the flicker in his eyes made her spine crawl.

“Monster, Rey?” Hearing him say her name was breathtaking in so many ways. He said it with such dark caress that it made her heart pump for all the wrong reasons.

She tried to squirm out of his grasp to no avail, but he set her free, feeling her discomfort. He stepped away from her and turned his back towards her as his voice echoed to the troopers.

“Take her away!”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Days passed tauntingly slow since she had been brought to his ship. To Rey’s surprise, she was not confined to a cell, but rather a room. She knew that Ben wanted her, but she had not given much thought in exactly what capacity. Rey bit her lip, walking around the room, like she had done a hundred times before. She had been so desperate so save the Resistance, she had given herself up. She had not even thought as to why he had wanted her so badly. Well, she had an idea but didn’t want it to take fruit. Perhaps he thought by having her, imprisoning her would make her more compliant somehow. To bend her will and soul to the Dark side.

Even if she had that darkness in her, her morals and heart was swayed more to the light. It is what guided her, moved her through the Force by keeping the tendril to the dark. Luke had stressed her about balance, and that was something she was desperate to keep.

But she was frustrated being cooped up in one room, having no idea where she was or what was happening. Why had Ben not summoned her? Had he regretted having her here? The Bond had sparked to life on occasions and she demanded answers when she had seen him, but he never complied, rather snapping their connection shut. Which made her doubt and think the worst. Was he still chasing her friends? Had she been stupid for thinking that her capture would make him stop? And now with her out of the picture...She didn’t even want to think about it.

Her room was not overly large, but it had a small bed, a fresher, a small table with a chair. It was robbed of anything personal or anything of color. Just dull grey, and the only contrast was the attire laying on the bed. She gave the clothes he had provided for her a scrutinizing stare.

While hers had begun to feel very dirty against her skin, it had not yet begun to smell. In the very least, she did shower every day, mostly from refraining to wear anything he had given her. She had inspected the attire. Black leather gloves, slim and feminine that ended below the elbows. A belt – very similar to the one she always had – same color as the gloves. A tunic that was a shade lighter and pants that were black. And body wraps that were a deep burgundy color. She wondered if he had this specifically made for her, as it was so like the clothes he had seen her wear before with few alterations. The boots went up to her knees, and to no surprise, they were also black. She refused to wear it. _Black, black, black!_ It was like he was trying to taunt her.

She sat down on the bed and hugged herself. she would not give up. She couldn’t. She owed it to the Resistance, and to herself. She waited patiently, knowing that Ben would eventually call for her – she had felt how strong his urge was to have her here. It had to mean something.

Rey closed her eyes. She missed her friends. She missed Leia.

The scavenger played with the necklace around her neck before she tugged the cold chain around her neck and took out the golden ring and stared at it. A gift from Poe. A symbol of the friendship they had formed since Crait. She, Finn and the pilot had spent much time together and became very close. Like siblings – if this is what siblings felt like. She had nothing to compare to.

_“I want you to have it.”_

_“Are you crazy?! This is your mother’s ring.”_

_“Exactly. And I wish to give it to you. For safekeeping. It would look so much more flattering around your neck then around mine.” She cocked her eyebrow at him and he chuckled._

_“I know a lot of things happened to you, from what you told us what went on Supremacy, and you remind me a lot of my mum and of Leia, who is the closest thing to a mother that I have now.”_

_“Have a thing for mother figures?”_

_He smiled, “think of it as a promise.”_

_“You told me you were saving it to give it to someone special.”_

_“And you don’t think you are? Come on, you are like the little sister I never had, just as Finn is my brother. That is as special as someone gets.”_

_“Then give it to Finn.” She teased._

_“Well, he has Rose. Have you seen her stun gun? I kid you not. That thing is scarier than Hux’s pasty face turning red."_

_Rey had to choke back a laugh wanting to escape as Poe chuckled. “Besides, I think he might get the wrong idea. Just take the damn ring, Rey. I want you to have it.”_

_She reluctantly accepted the chain with the ring twinkling in the sun._

_“A promise that we will survive. That we will get through this war. This ring has brought me good luck and I think you earned some too. I do want it back after we do.” He said with a wink, “so you better survive. I would hate to look for it in a crashed ship.” He joked, and she gave him a scornful look laced with humor._

_“We already had this debate, Poe. **You** are the expert at crashing ships. Not me.”_

_“Also, the expert of surviving them. Years of experience and trained grace.”_

_“And you still make it sound like it is a good thing to crash things.” She returned cheekily._

_“Aren’t I a lucky one for having you that is the expert of fixing things that I wreck?”_

Rey shook her head, closing the trip down memory lane. She could very well use some good luck right about now. And could imagine how Poe, Chewie and Finn must have reacted when they found out she had stayed behind.

Since being brought here and derived of any human contact she had spent her time – besides meditating - scanning the room for escape routes if needed in the future. She noticed all the vents had been sealed, except an extreme small airshaft, but it would be impossible to crawl through, and the intercom had been disabled from the room. She only had the food routine to go by how many days had passed since her capture, which was always delivered on three occasions a day, and always at the same time. She picked up the habit she’d had on Jakku to keep track of how much time she spent here. Some sort of self-satisfactory smug appeared on her lips whenever she engraved on the wall next to her bed. Somehow tarnishing the impeccable wall was satisfying.

Hours later, she heard the door to her cell open. _Finally!_ She lifted her head to see who her intruder was and saw three stormtroopers standing there. Rey hastily hid the necklace she had been absently playing with underneath her clothes.

They grabbed her arms roughly, as they dragged her reluctantly out of her room and cuffing her wrists.

“Where are you taking me?” Rey demanded.

“Shut up, rebel scum!” One of the answered condescendingly. But she complied, letting them take her to whatever fate that would await her, even if her instincts told her to blast them all to hell with the Force and escape. Old habits died hard, it seems. This ship was a maze, as they led her through different corridors, and she heard the PA shouting out different news that transpired on the base and commands being barked out. She saw so many troopers, among the other rank of officers that patrolled by. She sensed them all with the Force and the overwhelming presence of it. _Life_. No matter how brainwashed they were, she could not help to feel pity. Looking back at Finn, she knew this was not an easy life to bear and be subjugated to.

Eventually they reached an elevator, which made her reminisce about the last time she had been in one of those – very similar to how this one was built. When she thought, naively, that everything would work out. That Ben would join her, and they would end the Order and start something else. Something new together. One of the troopers took her arm tightly and shoved her in the confined space, and they were going upwards. Her heart started to pound more erratically when the doors opened, leading her to a small hallway to a door at the end of it. She was pushed outside the elevator and she felt Ben’s presence on the other side of that wall.

Rey was steeling herself for whatever the outcome would be. Her heart had begun racing on its own accord and her knees were shaking. Seeing Ben again was tough, but now she could just not get a grip around who the person he chose to become with Snoke’s demise. Their little encounter from when she allowed herself to be captured had her weary and was especially heightened now that he had left her alone for so many days. She had realized that she had expected too much from someone that had been abused his entire life to turn on a whim but still could not deny that he still…had not cared to stop firing at the fleet, willing to let the entire Resistance die.

Pushed inside the interior, her eyes quickly scanned the surroundings. It was not that much different from her own room. The bed seemed to be made from the same steel the ship was built from and she wondered how he managed to even rest on something so rigid. At least hers had a soft mattress. She noted a big table with holpads, letters and strange kind of decoration and knew this was his bedroom by the short inspection. Her gaze shifted to the large window, seeing they were currently in lightspeed, and her heartbeat skipped a beat to see him standing there. Back turned against them, and his gloved hands clasped at his tailbone. He had simplified his attire from the capture, and she recognized it clearly. It was the same one he wore that day she had gone to him.

“Supreme Leader. The girl is here.” one of the stormtroopers spoke and Rey inhaled a sharp breath, seeing him withdraw himself from the window.

“Leave us.” Ben commanded, with his back facing them still, and the troopers did not hesitate to hurry out of the room. Rey found herself trapped, the cuffs did not soothe that emotion and considered for a brief moment if it had been – yet again – naïve to let herself be put in this position. She had just realized she was trembling, but the room was comfortably warm, and knew her body was reacting to his presence and to find herself alone with him. Her instincts once more warred different scenarios in her brain. Perhaps she could escape, perhaps surprise him with an attack to buy herself-

“You truly believe I have not taken precautions? I know how your mind works, Rey.”  He interrupted darkly, and she stopped her train of thought. She shouldn’t be surprised that he sensed her anxiety.

“Obviously you don’t.” She snapped back, still feeling that sting from the _Supremacy_ rake through her while glaring at his back.

“You think of a foolish attempt of bravery saved your friends from us? From me? Did you honestly think I would not pursue them despite that you are here?”

So, he had still been chasing them…a lump formed in her throat. Perhaps she wasn’t as important as she had thought.

No…she knew that wasn’t true.

“I know you wanted me.” She answered firmly, letting their Bond snap into place and felt his emotions course through her.

“I did.”

“And now I am here.”

“I know.” He drawled. He still had not turned to face her and it was aggravating her. Those walls he had built around himself were near impenetrable. And also, very confusing. The aloof, dark demeanor he had shown when he captured her had changed.

“I sense your fear.” He remarked, as his tug on their connection flowed through her, and she was not as successful to hide her own trepidation from this meeting as well as he was.

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“Ever the brave one.” He retorted, and she bristled at his callous tone.

“I want you to stay out of my head. You lost the privilege to sense my emotions when you made your choice!” She couldn’t help being so hostile. He was just so detached, and she was finally able to talk to someone after being alone for so many days. She desperately craved for an outlet for everything she kept bottled up. And a part of her was angry at him for having left her alone for so long in the first place.

“You mean like how you are trying to sense mine and peer into my mind?” He fired calmly back.

“That is different.”

“It always is. I cannot change how the Bond works. It simply is. I offer my condolences that I won’t be able to comply with your request.” He said icily. She saw how his hands clenched together in their grip.

“Snoke bridged our minds, there must be a way to end whatever this is.” She shot back. She couldn’t help the impulsive strike to wanting to provoke this…controlled attitude he was showing.

“Oh, there is a way. Kill me and be done with it. That _is_ the only way.” He then turned his head, and she balled her fists to keep herself to breathe normally. He looked so tired, with his slight ruffled hair and pale skin. Those bags under his eyes seemed to have gotten even bigger. His long face, with those unique features that made her lose her wits about her. She could never remain indifferent to that face nor to those eyes that could penetrate her soul.

Ben did not hold the joy, nor the authority that should have accompanied his actions for his time after Crait. He did not hold the malicious glint in his eyes or the glee in his tone as Snoke had. He looked…broken. That spark of hope spread through her heart at the sight. He was in there. Somewhere. She knew it.

He looked at her, truly looked at her in the way only he seemed to be capable of. The way that told her that he saw her for all that she was. That she was the only thing that existed. “You didn’t put on the clothes provided for you.”

“Well, I would but black isn’t really my color.” She retorted and saw a muscle twitching at his lip to prevent a smile to crawl its way there.

“I see that I digressed.” He said and started to pace towards her. “My death would be welcomed by many. If you kill me, the Order is thrown into chaos, and you as my executioner could dismantle everything before Hux snuffs his way into my title. Isn’t that what you would want?”

He did a flick with his fingers, and her chains fell to the floor with a loud thump. She began to rub her hands to get some blood back in her cold fingers.

Ben advanced with slow, calculated steps until he stood before her, and she had to crane her neck to look at him. He removed his sheeted lightsaber and extended it to her. Rey’s eyes widened at his actions, not understanding why he was doing this. Did he want to provoke a reaction? To tell him exactly that she of course did not want him dead, despite all that has happened? That he was the damned only person that made her feel less alone in the universe? The only one that could understand her powers, and confusion about it. That he meant so much more beyond that.

“Go ahead, do it. End everyone’s misery that I am alive in the galaxy. The only thing standing between you and the peace you so desperately crave.” He thrusted the lightsaber into her hands and she could only stare dumbfoundedly at it.

“If you think this is what I want, it clearly shows you don’t know me at all. If that is what I wished for I would have done it before I escaped the _Supremacy_.” She said, her voice rough, laced with hurt that he even could think such a thing of her.

“What did you think would happen? You picked your side. Did it not occur to you that we would have to face each other in battle? That you are the only one that even stands a chance to beat me?”

How?! She did not understand the scriptures. She even tried with Threepio’s help to translate the texts. But the language was so old, and ancient that even he could not decipher it. The Force tried guiding her, but she never had the time to fully engross herself into it. And the matter remained that Luke’s broken lightsaber was still very much broken. She had promised herself once they had a safe base, a new home, she would give herself time to mend the weapon and let the Force guide her through the texts.

The joke was on her. Now she probably would never get that time.

She stared into Ben’s face, into those haunting eyes that mirrored the depth of the galaxy. She tried pushing through his defenses in their Bond and felt his wretchedness as it was her own. “Why are you doing this?”

He sneered, “it is the only solution to what you want. I merely offer the quick route.”

She looked down at his saber, feeling the crystal within rage with hunger and wince from pain, “You killed before, Rey. I do not see how this is any different. How I am any different to you.” Ben stated, and he bit his lower lip while massaging the inside of his cheek with his tongue. The same look when he had offered her the galaxy.

Ben gripped her hands firmly, and even if they were covered in the leather, it still shot a spark through her spine to feel his touch. She knew the power his skin had over her, when they touched hands – across the galaxy – and in the flesh, it was much more intense, much more powerful. Holding her hands, he seemed to have felt the same before he angled his lightsaber towards his chest and guiding her finger to the trigger.

One push, and it would be over. One push, she would never have to see him again, never feel the Bond. One push….and she would lose him.

“Do it, Rey.”

She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

But something else was brought to their attention before she could reply.

“Supreme Leader. There is no trace of the Resistance. They must have exited into another lightspeed jump.” A clipped tone chimed across the intercom, and Ben tensed. Both of them had not even noticed they had emerged from their previous hyperspace jump.

He let out silent curse under his breath, and Rey released a heavy breath of relief which snapped his attention back to her, as he released his grip on her and her hands fell to the sides. One still holding his weapon.

“Where are they going?” He asked.

Rey didn’t answer. She did not know, and even if she did, she would never tell him.

“Do you believe I would tell you?”

A memory flashed in her mind. The first time she had seen the person behind the mask. And what he had done to her mind. Knowing very well he could try that again and decided to make him aware of it. “I dare you to poke my brain again.”

His eyes flashed at her implied threat. “I would prefer if you tell me. Willingly.”

“I don’t know.” She answered, having to back a step to regain some control. His presence, his scent was suffocating her. He was not letting her have her space, as he took a step forward and she bobbed her chin upwards in defiance.

“So, the _Jedi_ that everyone put their faith in, has no idea where the rebels are heading next? Do you take me to be that stupid or did they did value you that little?”

“Why don’t you try to force me to tell you the correct answer?” She snapped back, with the intent to provoke. She was happy to know that they still had not captured the Resistance however, that they were still out there. But for how long would that go on? With the Order’s tech to track them, they would never be able escape them.

Again, a voice sounded through the intercom, and Ben’s head snapped to the side where the speaker was next to the door. “Supreme Leader. We have managed to track their signature. Do you wish to commence a lightspeed jump?”

“It seems we have run out of time. And now the traitors – the people you call your friends will suffer. After all this time, their fuel supply must be low.” He said slowly as his attention returned to Rey.

Desperation clawed in her chest, fearing that he would succeed. That he would not stop until they all died. That her being here did very little to distract him from his goal. And he was right. Their supply must be running on fumes by now.

“No please, Ben. Don’t do this.”

“So not, a monster anymore? I didn’t take you to be so fickle.”

“He is in there. Somewhere beneath that exterior you hide behind.”

“My name is Kylo Ren. Ben died when you left the _Supremacy_.” That was not true, and they both knew that. Otherwise he would not be feeling…like this, and he would not care to have her here. Because underneath his rage and determination, she felt a little boy weeping for all he had lost along the way. He began to walk towards the door to answer the intercom, but she stepped in front of him, and was now closer to him than before. “Please, don’t. I’ll do anything. Anything, but please don’t kill them. Your mother is with them, how can that not mean anything?”

 “You’ll do anything?” He asked, “that is desperate. Even for you.”

“Please, please just…. stop this. Stop the chase. You have me here, isn’t that what you wanted? Stop this madness.”

“What I wanted-

He bit his cheek from saying something reckless, before exhaling a shuddering breath. “You are so willing to sacrifice yourself for your friends, you didn’t even stop to consider that it is exactly what I wanted from you? You don’t even hesitate when it comes to them, but for me…you didn’t even have the guts to see what that could have been.”

“I won’t apologize because that would have meant I had to let my friends die. You said everything had to die, and you expected me to be fine with that?!”

He didn’t answer but she felt his hurt course through their connection, and she continued, “I wanted you to stand by me. Dismantle the Order and give the power back to the people. So, we could have peace!”

“The people? You mean the same people that lie, cheat and betray others for greed and power? The same people that corrupt everything they touch? You have no idea what you are talking about.” He sneered.

“Oh, I am quite sure there are a lot of things you would rather that I do not understand.” She said the words vehemently.

 “Because you are too afraid to comprehend what that could mean.” He responded heatedly, and she saw Ben in that moment. Another memory blurred in her mind, when they were in the elevator. When she sensed his conflict and wanted to help him return to the light. When she also felt those…emotions he held for her.

She backed a step, “What are you-

-Don’t ask if you are not ready to hear the answer.” He answered bluntly.

“That never bothered you before.”

“You didn’t even consider what could have happened if you had joined me.”

“How dare you use that as an argument? How dare you try to make me feel guilty about the choice I made?!”

“That is -

-NO! You listen to me! I believed you would turn because I saw it. I know it was probably a manipulated vision by that snake, but I thought I knew you, Ben! As _Ben!_ As the person that has been tormented and conflicted that would bring an end to this tiresome war.”

“Step aside, Rey.”

“No. You can’t expect me to just sit by idly when you slaughter them. You can’t. I won’t let you.”

“You hate me already, I am quite used to that sentiment by the people I have surrounded myself with. I do not think anything I will do in the future will deter you from it.” He said cynically.

“You know that I don’t!” She exclaimed. When she had seen him on Crait, she had been angry and disappointed. But she did not hate him. She could never hate him.

“I don’t…” She exhaled quick and burning breaths, her heart working at the speed as if she had run for several miles.

“You should.” Was his reply.

Something glimmered in his eyes, and she felt his guard slip just for a moment, and she let out a gasp, “you wanted me to kill you.” She stated slowly. His face, a mask that revealed nothing at her statement. And she found no answers in the rage that clawed his heart at her words.

“Step aside, Rey.”

“It was all a ruse. You wanted this to happen.” She said in surprise.

His eyes hardened, “I don’t like to repeat myself.”

“I refuse to move.”  She spat, gripping his lightsaber tightly.

“Pity. Now, step aside.” He warned, irritation evident in his voice.

Her nostrils flared, “no.”

“I won’t ask again.” He said more strongly.

“That is too bad, because I won’t move.” She met his tired and furious stare with the strongest resolve she could muster and realized just then how close they now were. This seemed to dawn on him too.

“If you do this, then you will be the monster that I refuse to believe you are.”

“Yet you were quick enough to call me that not days ago. Again.”

“Because you were acting like a beast, and you know it!” She defended hastily, “but if you do this, you truly will become the very thing I know you despise about yourself.”

“I think a monster is all I will ever be, to anyone.” He said. His voice controlled and calm as if this was the most normal thing one could say to another.

He tried to push past her, and a thought quick as lightning registered that he didn’t want to use the Force nor physical violence to push her away, before she put a hand on his chest to again stop his stride, and along with halting his approach, his mere physical prowess backed her against the door.

He stiffened at the physical contact and so did she, and they just stared at each other, until the intercom chimed again, “Supreme Leader, we await your command.”

“Please.” Rey whispered, not caring how desperate it made her sound. The Resistance had to survive. Her friends had to live. Him taking her had to mean something good could come out of it. “Please, don’t.”

“You’ll do anything?” He asked and that tension that coiled through her increased and she nodded, feeling a nervous anticipation settling in her gut.

“End the war. End this conflict. And I…will agree to…anything.”

“The Resistance is not the way to peace.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“Neither is the Order, and you know that.”

“Supreme Leader. What are your orders?!” The voice chimed again, growing more agitated, and Ben pressed the intercom next to her head, his gaze never leaving hers, and her entire skin seemed to set itself on fire by his proximity. Knowing she should get away but found that she did not want too. And she did not want to delve further as to why.

“Stand down.”

“What?! but-

“Stand down, Hux. Your orders are clear.” He said, his eyes still on Rey who tried to swallow the bundle of nervousness that clogged her throat. She had agreed she would do anything. She realized just now she would be completely at his mercy. He could wish for whatever he wanted from her, and her brain seemed to freeze at what exactly that could entail.

He shut of the intercom and the silence was deafening. She could only hear the frantic thumping of her heart and her anxious breathing. They were so close, close enough to touch.

“I held my end of this bargain.” He said simply.

“And what do you want from me?” She said rather breathlessly, as she slumped against the cool metal behind her. Already close, his body was approaching hers further and she felt him brush against her clothes. Scared for different reasons of how much she wanted to lean into him, she turned her head to the side, thinking it would break the compulsion.

Which was a big mistake.

His breath on her bare neck, tickled her skin, turning her nerves - where his heavy huffs of air landed - ablaze with flames, trailing downwards her spine. His taller, bigger frame was dangerously close to her, and she licked her suddenly extremely dry lips.

He didn’t answer, he seemed to be hypnotized to be near her, and knew he was fighting the same pull she was feeling. She smelled him, elemental, earthy and with a hint of citrus. It was overwhelming how his scent seemed to trigger the most primal part of her.

He was so close. So, so close and her voice became breathy and scratchy. “Why did you want me to kill you?” She asked and flicked her eyes back to him, almost wanting to inhale her words back into her lungs, as if it could draw her away from his presence.

“Perhaps I wanted to prove that you couldn’t. That there is a price that even you can’t pay for peace.” He replied in a throaty whisper, and with that he gently took his weapon out of her hands.

His face leaned even further, and she kept herself steady and still. His mouth was hovering above hers and she swallowed thickly, her eyes switching between his lips and his eyes that made her stomach churn even more. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He backed away so hastily that he robbed her from his engulfing heat that made her shudder as an aftermath. Never mind how weak her limbs had gone. He had not told her what he wanted from her, and she wondered if it should make her more or less nervous.

“Am I your guest, or a prisoner?” Rey asked coolly, trying to remain indifferent to what just had happened, knowing she failed miserably.

Ben turned his head, and she could have sworn she saw a ghost of a smile, “you are free to roam as you see fit. No harm will come to you by any under my protection even if many wish for your death. And I would _feel_ if anyone dared to hurt you.”

Rey stared at him, knowing that the connection they had was beyond strong and incomprehensible for her to understand, but she remembered. The first time the Force connected them, she felt that sting on her cheek when he had been under the care of the medical droid. But that is not why she looked at him. No, it was the way he expressed himself.

“I always sense you Rey, I always feel you. You are only mine to touch.” He finished.

“I am not a property or a plaything for you to command.” She could not help the reply escape her lips.

“I never claimed that you were such. This bond, this connection you believe Snoke created _demands_ that you are.” He stated like it was the simplest thing in the galaxy to understand. She began to stutter but found her tongue did not wish to cooperate with the thousand thoughts racing through her mind.

He flicked his wrist, so the door opened, and the three stormtroopers that brought her here returned a moment later.

“Speaking of which...” His gaze flicked to one of the troopers and pinched his fingers. The one that grabbed her arms so recklessly. Before Rey had time to interrupt or intervene, she heard the soldier grasping for air as Ben squeezed his windpipe with the Force and Rey reacted by pushing against the pull of his power with her own. The element of surprise gave her an advantage as the trooper slumped to the floor, coughing.

“He just touched my arm!” Ben’s eyes flicked to her.

“They are expendable.”

“No, they are people!” She thought of Finn, what if there were others like him here? It was not their fault that they were forced into this life at such a young age.

Rey and Ben glared at each other for a moment before Ben rubbed his fingers together. He let out a silent huff of air and directed his gaze to the troopers that thankfully stood quiet.

“The girl is not to be touched.” He stated darkly to the soldiers. Rey felt their shock and fear through the Force, but also gratitude towards her.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” The two others replied in monotone, while the third rose to his feet.

“Bring her back to her room.” Ben stared at her for a second before he proceeded. “I suggest you stay there tonight…and contemplate your current situation.” One of the trooper bended the knee to bring the chains that lay carelessly on the floor.

“You won’t need those. She is our guest as of this moment.” Ben clicked his tongue.

The soldier bobbed his head, “yes, Supreme Leader.” And they made a path, waiting for Rey to walk out first. But she had not dropped her eyes from Ben. How this meeting had her utterly confused. The puzzle she begun to unravel regarding him had taken twists and turns in way she had not expected, and she did not know what to make of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, yay. Did say I was going to update this once Unleashed has reached a certain stage. That time WAS not really there but oh well, what is life without breaking some own-made rules? ^^ But I have waited so long to update this and Unleashed’s latest chapter had to be split up into two parts because it was reaching almost 30 pages and way to long for one update, so I decided to update this one :) It wont take as long for the third chapter to be posted.
> 
> Also, I just had to alter Rey’s memory of Poe when reading the little we saw from the latest Poe comic. It kind of just provoked me to change the initial one that was more horrid then this one.
> 
> Hope you liked it, and also, comments fuel my wretched soul! :D So please let me know what you think. This is more of a fun side project to do while writing Unleashed. It is quite nice to write a story where they are physically close for once XD


	3. Chapter 3

True to his word, Ben summoned her to his quarters the day after. So, she was only free as long as it pleased him, but still, her situation could have been much worse. This had not gone the way she thought it would. She had believed he would be as vindictive and see the world in crimson when he had taken her. She had even calculated the possibility of torture and public execution to show his power and dominance over the Galaxy. She had prepared for the worst and the reality was much more confusing.

When she entered his room, it was without the guards. They had left her when they had exited the elevator. She found him by the window again, deep in thought.

He turned his head around, when hearing the door close. Once more it felt like all the sound around them vanished, but she squared her shoulders. He scanned her entire body and found her eyes, “Is black your color today?”

She pressed her lips together, “mine began to smell. And if that odor could vanquish the Order, I would have happily continued wearing them. As it is, it won’t kill anyone besides myself. So I had to look for other alternatives.”

“It suits you.” He answered, and his eyes once more showed that hunger, that intensity that tickled in the back of her neck. That hope, that naivety clung to her heart like tar that she still could not rub off. She was not the only one having trouble to remain indifferent.

“Where are my friends, are they safe?” She asked.

“It should please you to hear that I do not know. I stopped the chase, we can no longer track them.”

“That must have been popular with your fanatic followers.”

“It was the price for _you_.”

Whatever clever response she wanted to give died in her throat when he said that. She knew what she had demanded. But still, he could have done it and lied to her. But then again, Ben had _never_ lied to her.

“Come.” He said as he walked past her and motioned her to follow. She remained quiet as they rode the elevator downwards to another level. The corridors looked the same everywhere and it seemed the same populace roamed everywhere as several troopers and officers greeted Ben as they passed by. She wondered where he was taking her.

By the end of a hallway, Ben led her through a different looking door. Rey took in the big circular room they had gone inside and as the door shut close and it was only the two of them, she asked, “Why are we here?”

The walls were unsurprisingly grey, and the tiles black. Not a flicker of dust could be found here. The floor was clean and polished as if no one had ever been here before. There were no windows in this room either. In fact, it was bare of any furniture as well.

“Where else would we be?” He retorted, standing next to her.

“Can you just please for once just give a simple answer.”  
  
“Why do you think we are here?”  
  
“To admire the grey wall?” She responded sarcastically, and he scoffed.

“To train.”

Her eyes widened, “To train?!” He took a step behind her, “ _Anything_ , Rey. Remember?” He whispered, and she swallowed to feel his breath tickle the slope of her neck.

_You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force._

“This is what you wanted from me?! To train? For what purpose?!” She asked, her voice suspiciously tense as his breath on her skin made her freeze on the spot. She didn’t dare to turn her head when she sensed him so close to her.

“Don’t ask questions that you are not ready to hear the answers to.” He repeated silently before withdrawing himself from her back and she heard him walking to the corner of the room.

“I don’t even have a lightsaber.” Rey slowly turned around and watched him.

“You won’t need one.”

Once he reached the wall, he pressed a few buttons next to the wall to reveal a hidden closet.  With a loud hiss as it opened, she saw several weapons neatly tucked in on display.

“So, you took my lightsaber but have not yet manage to salvage it? I thought mending different objects was your specialty.”

His eyes found hers, and she crossed her arms over her chest. Was he teasing her or challenging her?

“If we were not chased all the time, perhaps I would have had the time.” She bit back heatedly.

“Perhaps what is broken, should stay that way.” He answered dismissively, his attention on the weapon rack in front of him yet again.

“Like you?”

He stiffened, halting all his movements before slowly turning his head towards her.

“Like us.” He answered, and they stood silent, staring at each other.

“I refuse to believe that.”

“You don’t?” He asked softly as his eyes peered into her, and just like that the whole world enveloping them disappeared.

“Scavenger to the bone. Wanting to fix what can’t be fixed.”

“Scavenger as in I see what can be repaired when others can’t.” She answered passionately. “Just because a vase has cracks in it, doesn’t mean that it can’t be more beautiful with the scars.”

“You consider me beautiful as a broken vase?” He asked, his voice laced with humor as a small smirk tugged his lips.

She felt light and her cheeks burned all of a sudden as she hugged herself even tighter and looked away. Ben must have sensed her sudden panic, and mercifully let their banter slide. He directed his focus back to the shelf yet again, and retracted one weapon, almost looking like her staff. Long, slender and red. With one move from Ben, the ends of the staff buzzed with red energy along the edges. And only the handle in the middle was unaffected.

Ben was inspecting it, “It might not have the kyber crystal, the life that a lightsaber has to its master, but it will suffice for this.” Ben commented, shutting of the electricity before throwing the staff towards her, and she grabbed it gracefully.

“And knowing you, I took a guess that this one would be the one you preferred.”

“Closest thing to a staff.” Rey said softly, “You remembered.”

“Seeing one’s past can do that to a person.” He answered.

Again, they stared at each other as silence followed. The puzzle that was Ben took another turn in her mind. She could not understand the point of all this.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“All of it!” She exclaimed in frustration. “I don’t understand.”

“Understanding was not part of our deal.”

She withdrew the urge to pull her hair, and shout at him, “Leave it, Rey.” He pressed when sensing her emotions wanting to boil over.

That strange intense energy around them only intensified when they locked eyes. She knew he would not give her the answers she sought and trying to feel him through their Bond was strangely unhelpful. How did he do that? He was usually so expressive with her. Clutching the blade tightly, “I don’t see the purpose of this.”

“Amuse me.” He said as he grabbed the one resembling a lightsaber the most and began to walk to the middle of the room. She wondered why he was not wielding his red saber, knowing the blade could withstand the pure energy. Her confusion must have been apparent.

“Because we are equals.” He answered her before twirling his weapon.

 “I don’t need you to coddle me.”

“I am more than aware of your skills, and your affinity with the Force. But you still need to understand it. Even if you tapped into my knowledge.” He said with a hint of a smile gracing his lips.

“That was accidental.” She quipped.

“It was a testimony to your power.” He answered, and she realized he was giving her a compliment.

She tested the weight of the weapon in her hand, knowing it was not the same as wielding a lightsaber that she felt in tune with but still, it was a strong weapon.

She would play along with this charade.

“So what happens now?” She asked as they faced each other.

“We fight.”

“That is not what I am referring to. What happens with the Order if you will no longer hunt the Resistance?”  
  
“Do you think the sole purpose of the Order is to hunt down rebels?”

“Then what is the bigger purpose?” She prodded, seeing a muscle twitch underneath his eye.  
  
“Not relevant here.”   
  
“How come you have time to spend with me when you are their leader?”  
  
“You seem to have answered your own question.”

“You know you are being insufferable?”  
  
“Am I ever any other way?” He inquired but she could have sworn some of the hostility had lessened in his tone.

Always deflecting with non-real answers or with questions of his own, she let out a sigh and proceeded to not further ask him anything.

He pointed his weapon at her and tilted his head, “Attack me.”

Rey played with the beautiful weapon in her hand, before she advanced on him. She tried to attack him from the side which he easily deflected. Not surprising, after all she had begun to adapt to his fighting style, but she did have a few tricks up her sleeve when it came to be fighting with a staff. She jabbed another blow towards his head that he sparred before countering her attack. The noises became deafening and their grunts, battle cries and groans bounced from the walls surrounding them.

He gripped her wrist then, twisting it and she gasped of surprise before he twirled her back against his chest, trapping her weapon against her breast with his own.

“You leave yourself open.” He said, his voice slightly unfocused. His breath brushed her hair, and she found herself wanting to lean more against his warmth while another part told her that she would not be that easily beaten. She could easily elbow him and break free. But…her body was not listening to reason at this point.

She did turn her head just slightly, feeling his nose in her tresses as if he was breathing in her scent, and her eyes locked with his. That liquid dark pools seem to melt even further, and everything was silent around them. Her trapped against his body made her brain turn to mush and his face was so close that if she turned a little more, she would be-

_No! I will not let him win whatever game he is playing!_

“Or maybe I have you just where I wanted.”  Her trembling voice betrayed whatever logic she tried to grasp but it was like chasing the wind. But she refused to let it show.

She used her body quickly and put her one leg behind his, and with a forceful movement with her hips and arms, she managed to twirl him to the ground. What she didn’t predict that she would fall right with him, as he grabbed her arm, and landed on top of him, hearing both their weapons clatter against the ground.

So close. Too close. Both his hands had absently landed on her thighs, causing an electric ripple to coil through her, and she was only now aware of their hold and her palms on his chest. His eyes drifted from her face to be fascinated at something below her neck, and one hand regretfully left her leg to grab at the object of his fascination.

Her eyes widened when she saw it was the ring that Poe gave her. He was inspecting the ring and said quietly but she could not miss the fury or danger behind his tone.

“What is this?” His eyes snapped to hers and she felt her heartrate accelerate as she tried to get away from this intimate position they were in, but his one hand on her thigh and the one around her necklace only intensified to prevent her from moving.

“None of your business.” She answered, the lump in her throat gradually getting thicker and unbearable. She could not stay like this. This was messing with both her mind and her body that obviously was not listening to reason. She tried once more to get away, by gripping his hand that was clasped around her metal chain to yank it free, but he was not having any of it. In a quick, blurry movement, he used both the Force and his weight to shift them around and she landed underneath him with a muffled groan. And this new position was even more intimate, more dangerous than the previous one but at the same time… She found herself liking this despite her best effort not to. Her hands were free. She could easily punch him to get him off her but… She didn’t want to. But she tried to show her feigned indifference as she defiantly stared up in his eyes, not letting herself be intimidated by his tone.

“What is this?”

She couldn’t help the cheeky smile that stretched her lips, and she answered in a bored tone, “A silver chain with a golden ring ha-

-Spare me your feigned ignorance.” He seethed.

“I’m safekeeping it, for a friend.”

“I have seen it before. On the Resistance pilot when I first captured him. Our inspection showed that he was carrying it. Why. Are. You. Wearing. It?” He articulated heatedly.

“I don’t think it is that rare to have a common golden ring.”

“But this is.” He sneered, holding the ring closely and she knew he saw the message that Poe’s mother had engraved inside it.

She pressed her lips together, swallowing hard. His scent had invaded her presence entirely by this close contact. That combination of leather, fresh clothes and that…scent that was his alone that had her heart pumping so hard for all the wrong reasons.

“I don’t have to explain anything to you.”

“Do you so easily forget as to why you are here?” He whispered darkly, his eyes holding her own captive.

“You wouldn’t.” She bobbed her chin upwards and did not miss the threat in his tone.

“Wouldn’t I?”

“Yes, it is his ring. And I am wearing it because he gave it to me. As a friend.” She admitted, turning her head to the side, but that was the wrong move. Her neck was exposed to the puffs of hot air from his lungs as they scorched her skin and she could not fight the ripple of goosebumps that flared through her body by that gesture.

“A wedding band is not something someone gives easily.”

“Careful, Ben, or I would have to guess you are jealous.” She said sweetly, turning her head back to him. He stared at the ring as if it was offending his presence. And Rey decided she had had enough of his demeanor. She pushed against his chest so hard, it even surprised him, and she took opportunity to raise her knee trying to kick him off her, but he saw it coming and rose before her leg hit its target. She scrambled herself up to her feet, trying to control the havoc wreaking inside her.

“Take it off.” He demanded.

“Why?”

“Because you are not _his_.” He seethed.

“I am my own, Ben. I am not his, and certainly not yours.” She said defiantly. “I wear what I damned please because it is my choice!”

The muscle above his mouth twitched ever so slightly before his luscious lips pressed together and she saw his Adam’s apple bobbing. “ _Anything_ , Rey.” He stated, and she withdrew the urge to wanting to slap him for reminding her yet again of their deal.

“Continue like this, Ben and the person that I am will cease to exist if you rid me of all my choices.”

Anger was bubbling through her to a threating peak, and she couldn’t help but add fuel to the wildfire when he remained so callous, “He cares about me! They all do! Why do you even think I am here? Because I want to be?!”

She knew she hit a sore spot when she saw him tense by her words and decided to take it even further when she remembered what he had said last time they saw each other.

_You are so willing to sacrifice yourself for your friends, you didn’t even stop to consider that it is exactly what I wanted from you? You don’t even hesitate when it comes to them, but for me…you didn’t even have the guts to see what that could have been._

“Because that is what friends do. We help each other. We sacrifice for each other!”

_Way to go, Rey! It’s already not enough that you have this deal with him and being trapped on his ship. Why not go provoking him even further and make him even more angry? I’m sure it will work out in your favor._

Why couldn’t she just keep her mouth shut? She seriously could not help herself. She wondered why.

This was evidently the very wrong thing to say. Something dangerous darkened in his eyes, and it felt like the very air shifted. She could see his tongue press the insides of his cheek and when he caught her eyes, Rey suddenly felt like the room was engulfed in flames, and she was heating up. She could not explain this sudden change, but this was a new territory altogether, and as much as she hated it, she was terrified and exhilarated at the same time. Her nerves were buzzing, and her heart wasn’t late with picking up the pace to an unbearable level.

“And look where it got you.” He spoke quietly.

“I am well aware of where I am. You make it hard to forget!” She snapped, infuriated and driven by her impatience that was already tethering at the brink, and continued, “What happened to you? Why have you become so cold? So indifferent to everything around you?”

She sighed heavily. And silence followed. Rey continued to stare at him, waiting for him to act. His eyes glimmered in the light as he captured her gaze.

“Am I too cold? Too indifferent?” He asked, but she didn’t miss the threat in his tone, and for once he actually managed to render her speechless. His words managed to penetrate through the barrier she tried to erect with him.

“You want more human warmth from me, Rey? Are the nights in your chambers too lonely for you?” He proceeded to ask in the same manner, and her clothes suddenly felt too tight, too constricted, too hot. She backed a step to give herself a respite, but he refused to give it to her by following her each step with one of his own.

“Too cold perhaps?” He asked, his voice low and threatening but there was something else playing to his tune. Something far more dangerous then his rage or anger, then any of the tender moments they had shared before Snoke’s demise. She felt like she was prey and he was the hunter and that he would not stop until he hit his mark.

“That is not what I mea-

“You ask me what happened. What do you think? You already know so why keep asking me the same questions?”

His lips slowly turned upwards slightly into a devious smirk, and she truly hated how at this moment he could feel everything that was going on inside her. Even without the bond she had a feeling she was very easy to read in any case. Her cheeks were burning that she bet she could melt anything on them, and she must look horribly affected.

“Isn’t that what drew you to me in the first place? The affection? That warmth? Isn’t that why you stormed to the Supremacy right into Snoke’s chambers?” He took another step towards her, adjusting his attire as he did, and his eyes never leaving hers, as if daring her to look away.

She knew immediately what he was referring to. That moment that had been one of the most intimate experience in her life. To feel his surprisingly warm hand against hers, to see his future, to have hope, to feel that inexplainable connection deepen by each passing second his fingers brushed against hers.

“That was different.” Her voice was cracking, the intensity of his gaze and his unwavering walk towards her made her heart hammer against her chest. How much pressure can bones take before her heart would manage to burst through it?

His stride towards never faltered, and she kept backing until the wall behind her hit her back, which didn’t slow him the slightest. He stood before her, and she craned her neck to not lose their eye contest. It was a strange contrast to feel the cold metal against her back that seemed to sizzle from her burning skin.

The heat from him was radiating in waves, and she despised herself for being so affected by it. He wasn’t even touching her, but it didn’t matter. It was like his entire aura was an inferno and she could only be consumed by it. The way his closeness invaded her personal space, the way he spoke to her with his divine voice that could carry an entire orchestra of different emotions that stabbed her chest, the way his scent tickled her nose and seeped into her pores, making her lose her countenance.

“Am I warm enough for you now? More _human_?” There was a challenge in his hoarse tone, but she didn’t miss that he was equally affected by this as much as she was. Even breathing became hard and painful as the short gasps only increased the traitorous beating of her heart. This was too much, and her eyes flickered to his lips to give herself some pause from his piercing gaze, but it did not help at all to look at his mouth, and she wondered for a second how it would feel to be kissed by them. She could mentally slap herself for thinking like that.

But he was so close, too close to her. His entire body, mind, and scent had penetrated her already frail shields and she was losing the battle at an embarrassingly fast speed. His lips were barely an inch from hers, and it felt like her ribcage would explode from the tremendous pressure. Her pulse had accelerated to a dangerous peak, and she started to feel dizzy by the blood hammering against her temples. It would not be surprising if he heard it.

“What are you doing?” She asked, hating how her voice was reduced to a whisper by his proximity. He leaned even further so she felt his warm breath on her cheek, and she tensed, as if his air on her skin electrocuted every inch of her body.

Her eyes closed as his fingers just barely trailed down on her arms, leaving goosebumps in its wake, branding into her flesh. Her blood was boiling through her veins at this point.

“You don’t seem to be that cold anymore, Rey.” She gulped, she could no longer see him, his face next to hers, whispering in her ear, ghosting her cheek and the loose strands of his hair tickled her sensitive skin. She wanted to get away, but it was like roots had emerged from beneath her, trapping her feet, and keeping her firmly in place. Her mind wanted to run away, but her body screamed for more. She heard him inhale deeply, and his nose was caressing her hair.

His hands came on each side of her head, to keep her from escaping this situation. She knew he was doing this to challenge her, that finding out about Poe’s ring had put him in a dangerous, almost possessive-like state. It was like he was excluding his dominance over her, making sure she would not forget how he had made her feel during all those moments they had shared, but the implication from his question made that same wave of anger resurface that had been overthrown by this new attitude in him.

“You have no idea what I feel.” She was playing a very dangerous game. She had given herself to Ben, she had made a deal with him to wish anything from her, and yet she could not stop herself from pushing his buttons. She should be trying to calm the situation, not throwing more oil upon the already roaring fire, if she wanted to get out of here unscathed. So why was she deliberately provoking him?

He stiffened and slowly pulled his head back to look down on her, his intense piercing gaze wanted to swallow her whole. There were so many emotions floating in those dark irises of his, and she could easily find herself losing the battle the longer she gazed into those hauntingly dark eyes.

“Don’t I? Hm, then you underestimate this connection more than I thought you would.” Her eyes widened by his response. She desperately inhaled a ragged breath as if her life depended on it, her legs quivering by his insinuation. Becoming Supreme Leader had truly changed him. She could never imagine him talking to her this way. Ever. While he was always ruthlessly honest, this was a whole new level altogether.

But that was not entirely true. She remembered how he acted when she saw him bare chested. Thinking back to that moment, she felt herself becoming even hotter, and perspiration was now soaking her clothes and hands. He knew how he affected her then, so then again…perhaps this side did exist in him? Just never been resurfaced before. His father…Han Solo did have quite the reputation before he met Leia and even then, he did get the princess.

 _Stop it, Rey!_ She chided herself, thinking about Ben half naked when he was like this in front of her was a dangerous combo. Her fists were clenched, and her entire body felt like it would soon explode if he didn’t back away from her soon.

His lips hovered by her ear as he silently continued, “You seem to forget that I feel _everything_ you do.” She had no adequate answer to that, not when he was torturing her like this and he knew it.

The only thing that could be heard in this room were their ragged breaths, and the tension was so thick between them. Their training weapons was long forgotten, discarded across the tiles.

He leaned his head backwards and just looked at her, until a small smirk danced on his lips and he pushed himself away from her. Rey suddenly felt like she could breathe, but was overwhelmed by the loss of his closeness, but she tried to regain her composure as quickly Ben seemed to do. She refused to show that the tingling in her body wanted him close to her, wanting to breathe more of his smell. She was torn between logic and this inexplainable need for his presence. She truly had believed that when they parted on Snoke’s ship, she would no longer feel this way.

A moment of silence passed between them, and he turned his back towards her, dragging a hand through his wavy hair. He used the Force to grab his weapon to his hand, and she stayed impassive for a second to long. He turned his head to her. “We are not done with our training.”

Rey blinked.

 _Did this not affect him at all like it affected me?!_ Why does that even bother her? Shouldn’t she be happy he gave her some much-needed distance?

_I’m losing it._

Rey pressed her lips together and could only nod and called her weapon to her that flew graciously in her hand.

It was like what just passed between them never happened. Ben acted with such detachment, it both impressed and scared her. She could never have that composure, or was it because she was much more affected by this then him? Was this just a game to him, a challenge he wanted to win? He had become so difficult to read, and she didn’t trust the Bond right now to guide her when her own emotions were so heightened.

He didn’t ask anything of her, and she at least as happy for the small victory regarding the necklace, but she made sure it wasn’t going to show anymore. They trained for hours before their sore and aching muscles begged them to stop.

Ben dismissed her afterwards and she headed straight to her room. It was strange to be surrounded by the First Order, addled by the fact they were not trying to kill her. Some troopers stared at her, but not with malice or disgust, rather with surprise and curiosity.

Once inside her room, she exhaled deeply, clutching a hand to her chest, feeling her heart was still racing within her. At this rate, she was sure to have an early heart attack. It seriously cannot be good that it keeps racing like this.

Her thoughts drifted to her captor, and she really should remind herself that he is her captor. They were not on even grounds. She was a prisoner, no matter the sweet words used to soften the blow.

Rey went to the small window and sat next to it, watching the grandeur of space, biting her lower lip. She thought back to every encounter with Ben ever since Takodana. She knew he wasn’t indifferent to her. He perhaps had become more ruthless now, colder but she knew how much she hurt him when she left Snoke’s ship.

In the back of her tired and battered brain, she knew a small part of her wanted this encounter to go further. She knew there was something between them that surpassed anything she felt before, and it provoked her curiosity. And addled to every encounter – this…tension, this unexplainable need for more only grew.

 _But you felt the same shiver on Ahch-To… more than once,_ a small nagging voice sweetly said in her head.

The very memory sent shivers down her spine and she sighed. It would not do anything good to think about it. She truly didn’t want to give herself to him under these kinds of circumstances because she didn’t trust herself while being his captive. It trapped her and didn’t give her any room to analyze the situation. And a horrifying thought came to mind, what if he demanded her to go further? The thought slipped into nothingness as fast as it came.

No. No matter how cold Ben had become, he would never force himself on her. She knew that. But… He played her well this time. He had won this battle between their wills quite exquisitely. And she wondered…. What attitude should she have with him the next time?

She massaged her temples with her fingers to soothe the headache that accompanied her since she left Ben. A wave of bitterness stabbed her insides, and she forced down the bile that scorched her throat. She let out a sigh that sounded more like a displeased growl. If she didn’t calm herself down, she would soon start hitting the walls around her.

What was going to keep him from resuming his chase? When he grew tired of her? She couldn’t let that happen at any cost. Or was he actually going to keep his word and end this war? Reach a compromise? And if so… What would happen to her after that? To them? Would he keep her here as a prized possession to rub in the Resistance’s face? Her fate… Her entire future was so uncertain.

All these thoughts churned in her head and she didn’t feel any wiser from it, but eventually her mind was exhausted that she fell asleep against the wall behind her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am way out of comfort zone when writing these kind of things, but oh well, my awesome beta Bianca is a wonderful support to hold my hand to get this posted. So there you go!  
> Can't get over my head how different this fic is from Unleashed but I hope to those that read this will like it and what is to come :)


End file.
